Thursday, December 26, 2013

Why What Other's Think of Fat Doesn't Matter

I've been thinking a lot about this. Recently I had been directed to a website (Return of Kings) dedicated to self-proclaimed "alpha males" regarding one of their articles about why fat women don't deserve love. During the course of browsing, there were so many articles that bashed fat people. In particular, fat American women. Categorically, we were assigned attributes that are laughably inaccurate. With such a large portion of the US fighting obesity and obesity related diseases it's hard to define what a "typical" fatty is. Obviously what the site promotes is horrible stereotypes directed at keeping fat women down. There are so many women out there who have poor self esteem. Some, like me, are drastically overweight and must contend with health issues on top of not feeling confident in how they look. Some women don't have the component of actually being fat but, nonetheless, feel they must live up to society's standards and therefore think less of themselves. However, when it comes right down to it... being fat is only a facet in how you operate in the larger world. Sure, it's obvious your corpulence is there, but does being fat change your thoughts? How you carry yourself? How you would like to present yourself to the world? Nope. The thing is you can be successful and have flaws. Everyone has flaws, some are just not as apparent as others. I think it's time to change a mindset here. The word "fat" is not an insult. It's a word that's used to describe a state of being. It's not really a word that is used objectively. That's like saying it's an insult to a dog to call it a dog. Fat is a state of being. Nothing more, nothing less. Seriously, it's obvious that a fat person is fat. I've never got why something like that needs to be pointed out. I even call myself fatty... fat people know they're fat. When I first started on my journey to a healthier me, about 6 years ago now, I tried to change my focus from restricting my diet and beating myself up to something different. I have tried to look at what I could do and rejoice in that rather than focus what I look like. Positive affirmation I suppose. So when I started to get down I started telling myself about all the things I CAN: I can run with my children, tell them a story, cook a healthy meal, go to work every day, clean the house, walk a mile, complete an assignment... and it goes on and on until I feel competent and sure that whatever obstacle is in my way I can overcome it. The thing is when we beat up ourselves and speak to ourselves negatively we basically set ourselves up for failure as a self fulfilling prophecy. "I'm not good enough to do ___ so therefore why bother trying?" Internalizing negative speak will only harm those who are trying to change their lives for the better. In the end, what others think of your state of fat doesn't matter. It's what you think of it. It's you in the end that is going to make your life what it is. You make your failures. You make your successes. Your life is in YOUR hands, no one else's. What do you want your life to be? Go and make it that way.


  1. I've been struggling with negative self talk my entire life. Just realizing that I do it was the first major step in improving my mindset...for a long time, I thought it was silly to pay any mind to my self talk. I thought that was ME talking, so why analyze it? I have slowly come to the realization that that not me. That is the accumulation of lies that I have digested over the years...that I'm lacking, I'm not good enough, my flaws define and my impulses control me. No more will I believe that these lies are "just me" and so I must accept them! Thanks for the reminder Tara.

  2. You're welcome. I think we all need to be reminded to be mindful of what we tell ourselves from time to time. It's so easy to believe that voice in your head that tells you that you're not worth anything.