I remember when I was learning how to drive my mom would scream at me if I was making a turn at an intersection "Don't hesitate! That hesitation is dangerous!" I remember her voice every now and again while driving and I see someone hesitate while they're maneuvering. Usually while passing another vehicle you'll see the car hesitate prior to moving into the left lane and overtaking the slower vehicle. That small hesitation can be dangerous because in that split moment another vehicle could have moved into the space which could cause a traffic accident. I find this a wonderful metaphor for life in general, that gut instinct prior to making a decision, that small hesitation that may mean the difference between overtaking a problem in your life or choosing to lag behind to wait for a better opportunity.
Since my cancer diagnosis in 2013 I've tried my best to live my life trusting that gut instinct and to not hesitate to live the life I deserve. What this has meant for me is finishing what I start, grabbing at opportunities to advance, and enjoying every moment I feel well. The feeling well days have been getting more and more as my treatment had progressed. I'm enjoying my running, enjoying my kids. Recently, the life without hesitation came in the form of a job opportunity. I've been working the last three and a half years with welfare recipients, promoting my way from a line worker to a specialist in cash aid and trainer. I was accepted to interview for a senior position a few months ago. The process for getting hired as a government worker is an arduous process. It involves first applying, then taking a test, then interviewing and THEN the waiting game starts. I was actually surprised when I first got accepted to test. I was unsure if I qualified. The test was scheduled the week I was out of town for work. So I ended up taking it over the phone (it was an interview style test). After you test, you are ranked in order of how well you did. Much to my surprise I was ranked first! That in itself caused me to happy dance.
I got the calls to interview about a week later. The first I was excited about, it was in the Behavioural Health unit. I dressed up and I thought the interview had gone well. The second interview was over the phone because I was supposed to be driving to San Fransisco but ended up not going. I ended up sick as hell instead. I didn't think it went well. But, lo and behold I got a call with the promotional offer on Thursday last week. I was so excited, no hesitation I took the promotion even though I wasn't 100% sure what I would be doing. Turns out it's in the SNAP-ed unit which is responsible for helping to promote good nutrition and prevent obesity. How cool is that?!
I keep wondering, though, if they would have hired me had it been an in person interview. I am not a small person. I'm very excited, though. I start with the new year and I'm anticipating this upcoming year to be awesome. I'm very much resolved that my best years are ahead of me, not behind me. You know, this morning I woke up at 5am ( my regular to work time), and felt energetic enough to lace up my running shoes, put on some tunes, and walk up the hill behind my house.. without hesitation.