So far: resolutions have stuck! I've got my treadmill up and while I haven't been focusing on running I have been focusing on staying active. I've been gluten free completely for several weeks now so I'm starting to feel better to get all that yucky gluten out of my body. I've been focusing on not defending myself for anything. I realized that I would always defend my looks, defend what my body is and why. Then I realized: it's no one's god damned business. I am what I am, take me or leave me. I had gotten into a habit of defending why I was in an exercise class. I recently went to a "combat cardio" class where, by the end, I couldn't go on. My abs were on fire to the point I had to go home and pop a few vicodin just to sleep through the pain. The instructor keep yelling (probably at me, I didn't have my glasses on... couldn't see him) "Keep going. Don't stop now. DO SOMETHING!". Well screw it! I'm not here to harm myself just so you feel that you've been a good instructor. I know my limits, I know where to stop and I don't have to defend why. Period. I don't have to defend or justify what I'm eating, defend or justify having to stop in the middle of a workout. I know that I'm doing what's best for my body.
And guess what? I'm already reaping the rewards. Not in weight loss but I feel better. I feel like myself. I'm happy and I will continue on being happy with whatever progress comes my way.