Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I think I'm ready!

So I definitely did have a pain flare up post first run. But, you know, I'm in so much fucking pain all the fucking time that I really don't give a fuck anymore. I AM going to run another 5k. I miss running so much. During my first day on Saturday when I was running I felt so alive. Like me, my blood pumping my hair swishing down my back, my hot pink shoes hitting the pavement. Alive. Free. Wonderful. I'm going to do my second run tomorrow morning on the treadmill. I was able to keep a 12 min/ mile pace on Saturday during the running parts (so says my Garmin), and that's where I need and want to be.

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that these dumbass doctors don't really want to help at all. I did get a referral to a surgeon to have a panneculectomy to remove part of my apron and the adhesions that reside there. However, I probably won't qualify for it. I only meet 2 of the 3 criteria but I'm hopeful. My other choice is to get bariatric surgery to severely limit my food intake. I don't overeat and have been keeping a food diary for several months. It was actually the only way that I could convince my doctor last year that there may be a hormonal issue. However with bariatric surgery I wouldn't even be able to eat what I'm used to. So that's the next step... IDK what else to do. I'm running out of options. I can't keep living off of pain medication forever.

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