Day numero dos of going to the gym this week. I had an excellent workout, really cycled through things today, upper body and cardio. It's finally raining here so I did my two miles on the treadmill. I really don't like the treadmill but I'll take it over pouring rain. I hope it lets up a bit so that I can run outside this week, which is what I prefer.
Some days I find it frustrating, the struggle to stay active. There's really no visual incentive here to do so. I'm still the same weight I have been for a year. Not a single pound lost. Although I have gone down two sizes... I guess that's a plus. Weight loss to me has been such an issue this past year or so. After being able to drop 80 lbs after my first son it's maddening that I cannot drop these last 20 or so pounds to get back to where I was before. But I keep trucking, keep making those fitness goals and hope for the best. Obviously the hormone replacement therapy my endochrinologist has me on isn't helping in the weight loss department, we'll talk more about it when I see her again in a few weeks.
I think at this point what's the most frustrating is that since I'm not exercising for weight loss it's still assumed I am. I am not. I'm doing it because it feels good. I do it because it makes my body strong. I hate that I will always be taken for a stereotypical overweight person. Someone who busts ass at the gym just to go home and potatoe chips *stashes the brownie behind the computer*. I hate that as a person of larger size it's assumed that I SHOULD be exerciseing and SHOULD be ashamed of how I look. In most ways I am absoloutly not. I'm a strong, beautiful, resourceful woman. No one should be allowed to tell me otherwise. No one should make anyone ashamed of themsleves for their body size.